As you can imagine, I hear a lot of people’s wants and desires. Many of them want to achieve some kind of success in their life. So many people want more than what they have and where they are. So many often ask in wonder what it is that is keeping them from what they desire. I like to keep things simple and the answer to this is very simple….
FEAR… Fear is what keeps us from our greatest hopes, dreams and desires.
I have studied books and articles on success as well as successful people and have come to this one conclusion: The barrier to most success is within YOU. What I mean is it really is (mostly) in your head.
Think of it this way… have you ever known a child to be afraid of the dark? Maybe a dark room or even the basement? And yet, an adult can walk into that same room or basement without turning on the lights and pass through it without fear. Why? Why is it that one person might experience fear and yet the other doesn’t?
Simple: We are conditioned to be afraid…
We become afraid because we encounter things and situations that we don’t understand, can’t control, and/or will cause us harm. Most fear comes from our conditioning. We become conditioned by negative experiences and become fearful that something similar might happen. You can also be conditioned to fear by things you are told are negative.
The purpose of fear was originally to keep us safe in the world. Imagine our ancestors using fear to protect themselves while hunting. It heightened their senses to the dangers in the wild and help protect them and their young from predators and their enemies. The absolute purpose of fear is to protect yourself from dangerous situations. Truthfully, most fear is irrational because our brains tricks us into believing that a similar circumstance will lead to the same frightening outcome.
Fear is an emotional response to the world around us. Because we, unlike our ancestors, are not hunting beasts of prey for dinner, our minds have to compensate for the modern world. We have replaced fear of death by beast with fear of failure, fear of what people think, and fear of a host of other forms. We fear what is happening to us and around us to the point that it cripples us from action.
I am generally not afraid of the dark… I walk into the basement often without turning on a single light. My youngest son also will walk into the dark basement with little trouble. He has never been conditioned to fear a dark basement. However, he has been afraid of going upstairs at night alone. Somewhere in his mind there is some fear of what might happen when he goes upstairs in the dark. Maybe once in his life something scared him in the night and he holds that locked deep inside his head. My job is to condition him out of that fear. I tell him often that there is nothing to be afraid of and help him to see how safe the dark upstairs of our home really is.
Overcoming the barrier of fear to success is very similar. The truth about success… it truly is a battle in the mind before it becomes a battle in the physical realm. When you change your mind you truly do change your life. The pathway to success is still difficult, but the journey becomes far less stressful when you disarm the irrational fears you onced harbored in your head.
Change takes time – it takes purposeful focus and consistent action. It takes constant reminders that those things we fear are not as real or even as dangerous as we thought they would be. In fact, 99% of the things we fear (worry about) never ever come true.
Let me help you deactivate those fears and help you step into the life you’ve always wanted.
Dr. Foster – The Success Coach